spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
