At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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