So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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