How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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