whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
