I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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