I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
