I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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