Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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