I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
