And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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