hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
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