Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize