I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize