Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
