Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
