Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
