Got a toothbrush?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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