I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
we should paint friendship bongs
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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