I love black thongs
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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