Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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