Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
