he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I understand Curling. That high.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
