whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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