like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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