does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
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