I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
