Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
