i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
