It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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