Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
