i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
