is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
