Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
