im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
