I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
bring money and cleavage
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize