Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
