Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
