He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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