i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
