Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
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