I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
