im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
