i think my tv is drunk
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
