Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
