Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
