Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
