My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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