She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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