Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
