Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
