Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
