There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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