If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
