the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize