Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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