i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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