They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
