I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
