I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
