i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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