We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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