Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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