hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you will always have a special place in my vag
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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