My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
